BRITISH SPOTLIGHT: The World Cup Of Actresses

By Duck Kolenik

Coming off the heels of that devastating loss by England in the semi-finals of the World Cup, I thought it only natural to dedicate a post to that sceptered Isle.  I know our fearless PLG Captain Peter Lorimer (who hails from the industrial North of the UK), and Megan Markle (now a Duchess across the pond), are also feeling the pangs of defeat, so this goes out to them as well.  Chin up England, in America every place gets a trophy.  You're still winners to us. 

It just so happens that I tend to gravitate towards the gritty and gray underbelly of London, in terms of telly viewing anyway.  Mysteries and murder play so well in the specified setting.  But, I also love most things British.  When I went on holiday there (see how I phrased that) last year, I, of course, didn’t want to leave like most head-in-the-clouds Los Angelinos.  The easy to use tube, meshing of cultures, early to open pubs, baked goodies, preservation of architecture, a gun-less police force, crumpets, Royal buildings and of course the English breakfast, had me at "Alright Love?"  I definitely had a Madonna-esque accent for a good week or so when I returned.  I'm only slightly ashamed to admit that.

So, cheer up England, keep a stiff upper-lip.  We all still love you and want to be just like you.  To twist things up a bit, being that it’s 2018, and all that is occurring in this ever-perplexing world in which we live, I also think it’s fitting to focus on the exceptional English female talent this time around.  The chaps get the World Cup of soccer, so I think the women should get to be in the World Cup of television. 

These ladies play some of the most articulate, disturbed, dense, brilliant and dimensional warriors I have seen to date on screen.  I highly recommend all of these shows if you have yet to try them. 

I have paired the participants up by similarities in storylines and overall characteristics, choosing the winners based on performance, potential longevity of the character and general career.  But remember, here in the U.S. we consider everyone a winner.   

The Participants

-Mentally unstable with dark pasts, but trying to overcome the noise.

Anna Friel - Marcella

Natalie Dormer - Picnic At Hanging Rock 

-Both betrayed by their husbands and left to pick up the scraps of their shattered lives.

Suranne Jones - Doctor Foster

Olivia Colman - Broadchurch

-London Detectives in a man's world trying to figure it all out, while staying in the lines (for the most part).

Carey Mulligan - Collateral

Indira Varma - Paranoid

-London Detectives in a man's world trying to figure it all out, while veering off into the dark side (a tad).

Nicola Walker - River

Amanda Abbington - Safe

The Semi-Finals:

Anna Friel - Marcella

Suranne Jones – Doctor Foster

 Carey Mulligan - Collateral

Amanda Abbington - Safe

The Finals:

Anna Friel - Marcella

Amanda Abbington - Safe

The Champion:

Amanda Abbington - Safe

She has definitely made some questionable choices, but most importantly she has a conscience and is stable enough to power through the darkness.  Somehow she found a way to come out of the muck, still mostly covered in light.  Equal parts badass and thoughtful. 

Who would you pick to win?


Juefeng Ge